PLAN OF ACTION:
My Bottom Lines
"Bottom lines are a written record of what defines healthy living for you" (LifeSTAR Toolbox for Partners workbook).
- I will not let my husband's addiction interfere with school and work. I will not obsess about his problem and allow it to halt my individual academic, career, and personal goals.
- I will not isolate myself because of my husband's addiction. I will freely share the situation, along with my feelings and emotions, with my family and close friends.
- I will not dwell on the past. I will remain optimistic and recognize progress.
- I will recognize my agency in my marriage. I will not let my fierce loyalty keep me captive in an unhealthy relationship. If my husband relapses in his addiction and tells me about it, I will separate at least temporarily. If my husband relapses and hides it from me or engages in other dishonest behavior, I will divorce.
- I will not allow others to manipulate me or my decision-making process. I will listen respectfully to the perspectives of others, but I will ultimately make decisions based on my own values, feelings, and desires. I will "own" my decisions. I will pray to the Lord for confirmation of my decisions and heed that counsel alone.
My Survival Kit
A survival kit is a small kit you compile of meaningful items that will help you regain perspective during difficult times. It has been recommended to put it in a container that you can keep with you.
- I have completed my survival kit and carry it with me in my purse. It includes a small copy of my patriarchal blessing, pictures of my family, a CD slideshow of pictures of my great grandma, my favorite quote from President Hinckley, a list of people I can call when I am in need of support, a dollar to remind me of the importance of self-care, and a small notebook to record my thoughts. I will continue to add to it when I recognize something that would be a helpful addition.
Phone Call Tool
- If I need the support, I have made a list of individuals I can call for help.
Meetings
- I will attend S-Anon meetings when it is a priority to me at the time. When my schedule permits and I choose to, I will gain great strength from the support network and extend help to others as well.
- When needed, my husband and I will continue to see our counselor at LDS Family Services.
- If needed, I will see a counselor at BYU.
Personal Reflection
- I will read daily from books that will aid me in my recovery. I will read books that I find enjoyable and helpful, including books about addiction, healing, and co-dependency.
- I will reflect on my emotions and current progress in the healing process by writing in my journal at least weekly, if not more.
Spirituality
- I will pray at least every morning and every night. I will take the time to ponder and listen for answers throughout each day.
- I will live my live consistent with the gospel and work diligently to always have the Spirit as my constant companion.
- I will read the scriptures with my husband every day.
- I will read the scriptures individually every day.
- I will pray to Heavenly Father to help me be more aware of opportunities to serve others. I will take care of myself so that I will be capable of helping others more fully. I will also attend the temple for service and worship at least once a month.
Exercise
- I will find an enjoyable way to exercise for at least thirty minutes at least five times a week. I will get outside and enjoy the nice weather or go to one of my favorite classes at the gym.
Rest and Relaxation
- I will do my best to get adequate sleep. When my mind makes it difficult to sleep, I will get up and make a list of the things on my mind and return to them the next day. I will pray when it is difficult to sleep.
- During the week, I will be in bed no later than midnight.
- I will take healthy breaks each day and allow myself to do something fun each week.
- I will continue to watch very little, if any, television.
Nutritional Guidelines
- I will continue to enjoy cooking. I will prepare most meals at home and eat three balanced meals a day. I will continue to incorporate fruits and vegetables in my diet and make healthy choices while grocery shopping.
- I will give myself a break from cooking when needed and make healthy choices when eating out.
- I will continue to eat sweets/treats in moderation.
Interests
- I will read good books.
- I will listen to uplifting music that makes me feel happy.
- I will write for my own enjoyment.
- I will develop my talents academically.
- I will continue to prepare myself for graduate school. I will continue to focus on my university courses, research positions, and GRE preparation.
Goals
- I will do a monthly self-inventory on my Plan of Action and evaluate how I am doing. I will re-commit to those aspects that are in need of improvement and make any necessary adjustments.
