Things Are Looking Up

My professor, a marriage and family therapist, reminded me last week that "things will get worse before they get better."  That has definitely been true so far and I know there will be a lot of bumps in the road of recovery for both my husband and I.  But I am so happy that I feel that my husband is in recovery.  I feel that he sincerely wants to change his life.  I've seen glimpses of how happy we can be together.  My husband is reading a book called Out of the Ashes.  It is an LDS guide to helping a betrayed spouse heal in the aftermath of sexual sin.  The book explains that as we make progress, we will have small "glimmers of hope" that will show us how much joy we can have if we continue in the right direction.  We have definitely had many of these moments and are glowing closer to each other than we have ever been.

After weeks of consideration, temporary separation, and fervent prayer with my Heavenly Father, I have decided to stay married for at least the duration of our main therapy program, Lifestar.  Lifestar is a group therapy experience designed for sexual addicts and their partners.  It will last about a year.  So far, it has been very helpful and I believe it will continue to be a valuable resource to us.  Even though all of the avenues of therapy are taking a lot of our time, I really look forward to going to each of them.  I have decided that as long as I see that my husband is continually progressing and doing his best to recover, I will stand by him.  I will put my fears aside and trust in the Lord.  A little at a time, I will trust in my husband again.  I am so proud of him and the progress that he has made so far.  I'm learning to know my best friend again.  

Even though I still have concerns about looking out for myself, I have yielded those to the Lord.  He will watch out for me and I know I can be guided and directed by Him as long as I stay in tune with His will.  I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone else, but it has been a tremendous learning experience so far.  I hope I can continue to make the best of it.