The Next Step

I have decided to take the next leap of faith. My husband and I will be purchasing a condo together this month. I have waited a year and I still feel optimistic about my husband's recovery and our marriage. I think that the weight of this decision has triggered a lot of days like the one of my last blog entry in February. I have been very stressed, but in the end--I still feel peace in my decisions.

I feel concerned because it is a stressful time for my husband and he has taken on more hours at work. Last year, his grueling work schedule made him very susceptible to his addiction and was a large factor in his significant relapse. I haven't talked to him about my concerns about this yet, but I hope we can talk soon. We have both been sick for the last few weeks and we are just barely scraping by. It seems like we haven't had enough energy for any real connection or conversation lately. I hope we can talk about my concerns about his new schedule soon. I want to find ways that I can be a strength to him. I also hope we can deal with the additional stress together, rather than allowing it to isolate us.

It's an interesting feeling posting such a personal journal online. I guess I don't mind giving others a glimpse of my own human experience. It seems like we learn a lot from each other along the way. Here's my real, raw self--anonymously, of course :)